You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Walk of Shame today included voting.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
