yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
