that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
