just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
