How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
thus making me awesome and them whores
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
