I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
