He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
