shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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