What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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