So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
