Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The struggles of a small town man whore
All I want is dick and wine.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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