making cat noises will not fix the situation.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize