I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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