Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
