Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
