the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
