:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize