I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
