So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
