He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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