The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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