So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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