Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
