what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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