He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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