Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
