Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
