You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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