Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
