it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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