News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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