Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
