Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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