i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
