Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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