I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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