the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
