All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
