I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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