If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just found puke in my bra..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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