Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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