i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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