she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Four minutes until I can fart!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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