areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
