He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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