she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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