Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
