I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
