how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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