on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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