even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
