Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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