So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
