I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
