Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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