Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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