Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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