How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
