We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
